Anıların daha dün gibi yaşanmışlığı hissi uyandıran, cüzdanında fotoğraf saklattıran, çekmeceleri karıştırırken sana yazdığı notlara rastladığın, okurken o duyguyu yanında gibi yaşadığın, el ele tutuşmanın hazzına vardığın, sarıldığında tek bedenmiş hissine kapıldığın, bir gülüşüne kendini saldığın, yemek yiyişine bayıldığın, ona kızınca dünyaya darıldığın, her şeyden nefret ettiğinde sevgisine sarıldığın, en güzel çiçekleri ona almak için çiçekçinin kapısını çaldığın, uyuduğun, uyandığın, uykuya dalamadığın, hasret kaldığın, kalbini dağladığın, ömrünü ona adadığın, hep yanında olacakmış gibi yaşadığın, kendini bu fikre adadığın an gelen acı; Ayrılık.
Çok azımız ayrılığa alışmadan yaşıyoruz hayatı. Hiç görmeden, tanımadan, bilmeden. Hayat onları teğet geçmiştir, yakmamıştır canlarını. Çok şanslı sayarız onları. Biz ise karanlığızdır, en karanlık geceden daha karanlıktır içimiz. Aydınlanmamızı sağlayan tek şey acıdır. Bu acıyı unutmak, ondan kurtulmaya çalışmaktır artık tüm çabamız. Uyumayı deneriz mesela ama beceremeyiz bir türlü, uyku tutmaz. Şehrin en güzel manzarasına gideriz. Biraz rahatlasın, dinlensin ruhumuz diye, onu da başaramayız. İçteki güzellik kalmayınca dıştaki güzelliklerin faydasının olmayacağını anlarız. Onu hatırlamak için bir sebep daha bulmuşuzdur kendimize, kendiliğinden hemde. Unutmaya, aklımızdan çıkarmaya çabalarken daha fazla sağlamlaştırmaya başladığımızın farkında değilizdir yerini. Günler geçtikçe farkına varırız. Acıyı güce dönüştürebilirsek onun bize tatlı geldiğinin farkına varmaya başlarız. Aşkı anlatan romanlar, söylenen tüm şarkılar ya da duyageldiğimiz aşklar hep böyle olmamış mıdır? İşin içine acı katıldıkça daha derin anlam kazanmıştır her biri. Ayrılığın gücüdür bunu sağlayan.
Sevginin istemekle olmayacağını, yaşayarak oluşmayacağını, hiç neden yokken birinden hoşlandığımız da, kendini sevdirmek için hiçbir şey yapmadığında, bizi düşünmediği anda, onda kaybolduğumuz zamanda ararız. Ayrılığın ise tam aksine kendi çabamızla, kelimelerimiz ve yaşantımızla olduğunu kendimizi öyle bir inandırırız ki tüm suçu üstümüze alır, karşı tarafın bizi bırakmasını hak sayarız. Aslında her başlangıç kendi sonunun nereye gideceğini belli eder. Ya bunu başlangıçta anlar mutlu, mesut yaşarız ya da rastgele seyirlere bırakırız kendimizi, olup olmayacağına bakar bir nevi ayrılığa hazırlarız kendimizi.
I enjoy you because of each of your efforts on this web site. Ellie loves carrying out investigations and it’s simple to grasp why. All of us hear all concerning the lively method you deliver useful thoughts by means of this blog and even increase contribution from others on that issue while our favorite princess has been studying a lot. Enjoy the remaining portion of the new year. You’re the one conducting a really good job.
I in addition to my guys appeared to be reading the great hints found on your web page and so the sudden came up with a terrible suspicion I never expressed respect to the website owner for those techniques. All the women were for this reason excited to learn them and have clearly been having fun with those things. Thanks for actually being indeed kind and also for settling on certain amazing resources millions of individuals are really eager to learn about. My personal honest regret for not saying thanks to earlier.
I as well as my pals ended up following the excellent guides on the blog and the sudden came up with an awful suspicion I had not thanked the site owner for those tips. Most of the guys had been for that reason excited to see them and already have undoubtedly been taking advantage of these things. Appreciate your genuinely well kind and for making a decision on this sort of terrific topics most people are really desperate to understand about. Our honest regret for not expressing appreciation to you earlier.
I simply had to appreciate you again. I’m not certain the things I could possibly have followed without the actual creative ideas shown by you over such topic. It was before a very troublesome problem for me, nevertheless understanding the very skilled way you resolved the issue took me to cry over joy. I’m just happy for this work as well as wish you are aware of a great job you are putting in teaching men and women all through your website. I am sure you have never got to know any of us.
I must express my respect for your kind-heartedness for men and women who actually need assistance with this idea. Your real commitment to getting the message all over came to be definitely important and has without exception encouraged employees just like me to achieve their goals. Your own valuable help and advice indicates a great deal to me and further more to my colleagues. Warm regards; from each one of us.
I’m just writing to make you be aware of what a amazing experience my cousin’s daughter had studying your web site. She realized such a lot of details, with the inclusion of what it is like to possess an incredible teaching character to let many people clearly know precisely chosen grueling issues. You truly surpassed visitors’ desires. Thank you for providing these helpful, safe, informative and even cool thoughts on that topic to Julie.
I precisely needed to appreciate you yet again. I do not know the things I would have achieved in the absence of the hints shared by you on such a subject. It was actually a difficult situation for me, but witnessing the professional way you resolved that took me to jump with joy. I am happier for your work and thus pray you realize what a powerful job you have been putting in teaching other individuals all through your website. Most likely you haven’t encountered any of us.
I wanted to post you the little bit of word to thank you over again with your fantastic secrets you have discussed here. It has been quite strangely generous with you to deliver unreservedly just what a lot of people would’ve offered for sale for an e-book in order to make some money on their own, and in particular seeing that you could have tried it if you ever wanted. These points in addition worked to provide a fantastic way to realize that other people online have similar fervor like mine to grasp way more with regard to this problem. I believe there are lots of more pleasurable periods ahead for those who check out your site.
Thank you so much for giving everyone an extraordinarily breathtaking chance to read critical reviews from this blog. It can be so ideal and packed with a good time for me and my office fellow workers to visit your web site really thrice a week to find out the new secrets you have got. Of course, I’m actually happy concerning the excellent strategies you serve. Some 3 points on this page are truly the best we have all ever had.
My wife and i ended up being quite thankful that Chris could finish off his analysis because of the ideas he received while using the site. It’s not at all simplistic to just happen to be freely giving procedures which usually people today could have been making money from. We realize we’ve got the blog owner to appreciate for that. The entire explanations you have made, the easy website navigation, the relationships you will aid to engender – it’s many extraordinary, and it is making our son and us feel that that subject is amusing, and that is extremely fundamental. Many thanks for the whole thing!
Thank you for every one of your effort on this website. Ellie delights in working on investigation and it’s easy to see why. Most of us hear all concerning the lively tactic you provide both useful and interesting tricks on this web blog and as well welcome participation from some others about this situation so our favorite princess is without a doubt studying so much. Take pleasure in the remaining portion of the new year. You have been performing a wonderful job.
I am only commenting to let you be aware of of the useful discovery my friend’s daughter had viewing your web page. She came to find numerous details, including what it’s like to possess a wonderful helping nature to get certain people without hassle understand a variety of multifaceted things. You undoubtedly surpassed our expected results. I appreciate you for supplying those powerful, safe, edifying not to mention cool tips about that topic to Lizeth.
Thank you so much for providing individuals with remarkably spectacular chance to read from this site. It can be very nice and as well , full of amusement for me personally and my office co-workers to search your website nearly thrice in one week to study the new guides you have. And definitely, we are actually fulfilled with your wonderful advice served by you. Some 1 areas in this article are without a doubt the finest we’ve ever had.
I and my guys have been viewing the nice suggestions found on the website and so instantly I got a terrible feeling I had not thanked the web blog owner for them. Most of the boys happened to be certainly passionate to read through them and already have sincerely been taking advantage of these things. I appreciate you for indeed being quite kind as well as for picking variety of very good useful guides most people are really wanting to be aware of. Our honest regret for not expressing gratitude to you sooner.
I just wanted to compose a brief note to be able to appreciate you for some of the pleasant strategies you are giving out on this site. My long internet search has at the end been recognized with pleasant facts and techniques to share with my pals. I would point out that many of us readers are rather blessed to live in a wonderful place with very many lovely individuals with helpful tricks. I feel quite privileged to have seen your entire webpages and look forward to plenty of more amazing times reading here. Thanks once again for all the details.
I needed to put you that little bit of note just to thank you so much as before regarding the amazing secrets you have contributed here. It’s pretty open-handed with people like you giving publicly all numerous people would’ve offered for sale as an electronic book to help with making some bucks on their own, mostly seeing that you might have tried it in the event you wanted. The things as well acted to become easy way to realize that someone else have the identical interest similar to my very own to understand more with respect to this issue. I am sure there are millions of more pleasurable sessions ahead for many who find out your website.
I together with my friends came digesting the nice tactics located on your website while then I got an awful feeling I had not thanked the web site owner for those techniques. My women were definitely so happy to study them and already have in reality been having fun with these things. Thank you for getting well kind and for having varieties of incredibly good ideas most people are really wanting to understand about. My personal sincere regret for not expressing appreciation to you sooner.