DEĞİŞİM RÜZGARI!
İnsanın odak noktası kendisi olmamıştır, olamamıştır. Çoğu zaman belki de hiçbir zaman. Kendini düşünmeyi akıl edememiştir, aklına gelmemiştir. Küçük anlar ve belli zamanlarda gelmiş olabilir elbette. Bu kabul edilebilir. Ne yazık ki zamanın çoğu böyle değil. Bu durum yaradılıştan mı yaşayıştan mı? Bilemiyorum.
Kendimizi düşünmemiz için değişim rüzgarı eser bazen. Acılar ise en büyük sebebidir bunun. Kendimizi anlayacağımız, vakit ayıracağımız anlar burada çıkar karşımıza. Değersiz hissetmişiz ya da sevilmediğimizi fark etmişizdir. Belki de bir ihanettir bize bunu düşündüren. Ortak pay ise tüm değeri, sevgiyi, mutluluğu ona vermemiz, kendimizi ise hep eksik görmemizdir. Aslında böyle bir şey yoktur. İnsan yaşarken ikidir peki ya düşünürken neden tek? Sordunuz mu bu soruyu kendinize. Sorun, korkmayın. Elbet bir cevap bulacaksınız.
Bir de şöyle bakmayı deneyin. En büyük kararlarımızın arkasında en büyük acılarımız yatmaz mı? Dönün bakın geçmişinize. Kendi dar pencerenizi genişletenin yani farkına varmanızı sağlayanın sevdiğiniz biri olduğunu göreceksiniz. Kısır döngü gibi değil mi sizce de? Hayatta en sevdiğiniz o, ama kırgınlıklarınız da ve kızgınlıklarınız da ise sizsiniz. Aslında onu güzel yapan sizsiniz, sizi de güzel yapan o. Bu açıyı herkes kaybetmiş durumda, yalnızca farkına varanın umurunda. Hani çok iyi geçinen insanlar görürsünüz ya, işte onlar gerçekten yaşıyor bunu da. Onların sırrını bilmek ister misiniz? Gelen değişim rüzgarının yönünü ve şiddetini belirlemelerinde. Duygu ile aklı, akıl ile duyguyu idare edebilmelerinde.
Dipnot: Acıyı kontrol edenin, kendini kabul ettiğini; kendini kabul edenin de istediğini elde edebildiğini görürsünüz.
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