MASUMİYET!
Bir çocuğun gözünden bakmak hayata; gerçeği olduğu gibi görmek ve bunu hiç çekinmeden söyleyebilmek aslında. Cesur, dürüst ve yalansızca.
Gece gece bir filme denk geldim. Son zamanların en popüler, sevilen ve çokça tavsiye edilen filmi. “7. Koğuştaki Mucize”. Adı tam olarak buydu. İzlerken gerçekten de bir mucizeye şahit oluyor insan. Yusuf Ağa’ nın duvarında kazılı bir alan var. İzleyen görür. Büyük insanların anlayamadığı, duvarda öylesine kazılı olduğunu düşündükleri bir parça onlara göre. Adamın derdini, neden konuşmadığını sürekli merak içindeler ama bir türlü anlayamıyorlar. En çok ta o duvardaki yere neden dalıp dalıp baktığını.
Bize hep söylenen büyüdükçe akıllanacaksın cümlesi oluyor. Duymayan kalmamıştır bu sözü. Yaşı çocuk olmayan herkes işitmiştir. Bende öyle. Bir farkına varma mı, aldatma cümlesi midir hala çözememişimdir. Büyüyen sadece insanlar aslında. Akıl büyüseydi eminim daha güzel şeyler olabilirdi. Öyle olmadı ama. Bir çocuktan yakınan insan görmüşsünüzdür muhakkak ama bir çocuğun bilerek üzdüğü, kalbini kırdığı ya da yalan söylediği bir büyük görmemişsinizdir, göremessiniz de. Onlar var olanı görür, gördüğünün gerçek olduğunu bilir. Bildiklerinden biz vazgeçirmeye çalışırız çocukları. Sevgi ve güvenle yapmaya çalışırız, en yapılmayacak olanı da. İnanır da en çok inanmak istediğine; yani sana.
Küçük Prens kitabı geldi aklıma. Orada da çocuk kendini, yaptıklarını anlatamıyordu büyüklerine. Küçük çocuk ilk bakışta çizimin ağaç olduğunu anladı ve sordu ona. Bu soru aslında adamın kendini bulmasını, en çok ta anlamasını sağladı. Duvara çizmeye çalıştığı bir ağaçtı. Büyük olduğu için bu kadarını yapabilmişti. Onu anlayanın ise bir küçük olabileceğini hiç düşünememişti o güne kadar. Sahi çocuğun bunu başarabilmesini ne sağlamıştı? Masumiyet mi, bakıp gördüğünü söylemek mi? Bizim yaptığımız gibi sürekli bir anlam yüklememek mi? Her şeyi düşünmeye çalışmak ama tek kelimeyi bulamamak mı? Gördüğüne kendini katmamaktı belki de.
içimizdeki çocuğun ölmemesi dileğiyle ufuk bey 🙂
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